FAST: Fair
FASTFair(= Fair bleiben)
When self-respect should not be secured at the expense of fairness towards others.
Combine self-respect with fairness so that clear action does not come at the expense of decency or consideration.
When does this fit?
If you want to protect yourself without being unfair or degrading towards others.
Priority in the path
This node becomes especially important when set boundaries describes the actual situation.
What this is about
Fair is the first FAST skill: treating both oneself and the other person fairly in an interaction. Being fair to oneself means not giving in to all of another's wishes at the expense of one's own; being fair to the other means not taking advantage of them to get what one wants. Consistently taking advantage of others may produce short-term results but erodes self-respect over time. Consistently sacrificing one's own wishes for others does the same from the opposite direction. Fairness requires validating one's own feelings and needs as legitimate, not treating oneself as the person whose interests are always secondary.
Continue in practice
From single part to pattern
First return to the skill bundle and from there move to the next steps of the same structure.
Related content in Interpersonal Effectiveness
FAST: no Apologies
If you don't want to reflexively apologize for legitimate concerns or boundaries.
Also in: Emotion Regulation · Mindfulness
FAST: Stick to Values
When in contact, commitment to values becomes more important than short-term relief, approval or conflict avoidance.
FAST: Truthful
When self-respect depends on remaining clear and truthful in contact, even when it is uncomfortable.
Also in: Emotion Regulation · Mindfulness
Sources and references
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