FAST: no Apologies
FASTNo apologies(= keine unnötigen Entschuldigungen)
If you don't want to reflexively apologize for legitimate concerns or boundaries.
Reduce unnecessary apologies so that legitimate self-advocacy is not weakened by premature retreat.
When does this fit?
When you have to stand up for something that doesn't need an apology, but otherwise you quickly make yourself smaller than necessary.
Priority in the path
This node becomes especially important when set boundaries describes the actual situation.
What this is about
No Apologies is the second FAST skill: avoiding over-apologizing — for having needs, for making requests, for having opinions, or for disagreeing. When apologies are genuinely warranted, they are appropriate and important. The problem is habitual apologizing that signals one is wrong for wanting what one wants. Each unnecessary apology communicates that one is a burden, a problem, or a mistake. Over time, this pattern erodes the sense of mastery and self-respect. The skill is not about refusing to apologize when genuinely at fault — it is about not apologizing for existing, for having a perspective, or for taking up space in an interaction.
Continue in practice
From single part to pattern
First return to the skill bundle and from there move to the next steps of the same structure.
Related content in Interpersonal Effectiveness
FAST: Fair
If you want to protect yourself without being unfair or degrading towards others.
Also in: Emotion Regulation · Mindfulness
FAST: Stick to Values
When pressure or guilt pulls you away from your own values.
FAST: Truthful
When self-respect depends on remaining clear and truthful in contact, even when it is uncomfortable.
Also in: Emotion Regulation · Mindfulness
Sources and references
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