Cue-Controlled Relaxation

What this is about

Cue-Controlled Relaxation is a behavioral technique that pairs the physical experience of relaxation with a specific cue word or signal — most commonly a word like 'calm' or 'relax' said internally while exhaling — so that over repeated practice, the cue itself becomes capable of triggering relaxation.

The procedure is based on classical conditioning: by consistently pairing the cue with a genuine relaxation response (achieved through paced breathing or paired muscle relaxation), the cue eventually acquires the ability to produce that response independently. This is closely related to DBT's Paired Muscle Relaxation skill, which explicitly uses the word 'relax' as the conditioned stimulus. The value is that a conditioned cue can trigger relaxation faster and more discretely than the full procedure requires.

Further reading McKay Workbook — Ch. 3

Step by step

Work through the steps at your own pace. For written exercises, you can use paper or a notebook.

Choose a short word you want to associate with calm.
Sit somewhere undisturbed and breathe calmly and evenly.
Gradually release tension in different body areas without forcing it.
As you breathe out, pair the calmer body sensation with your chosen word.
Repeat this association during calm practice before trying it in stressful moments.