DEAR MAN: Describe
DEAR MANDescribe(= Beschreiben)
When you first have to bring your concerns to the table in a factual and observable manner.
State the situation or concern in an observable and objective manner so that the conversation begins on a clear starting point.
When does this fit?
When at the beginning of a difficult conversation, facts and observations need to be clarified before requests or feelings follow.
Priority in the path
This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.
What this is about
Describe is the opening step of DEAR MAN: beginning an interpersonal assertion by stating the facts of the situation briefly and without judgment. The purpose is to orient the other person to what has happened, establish a shared factual basis, and signal whether the interaction is likely to be receptive. Describing here follows the mindfulness skill of describing: sticking to what could be observed by a neutral third party, or what could be submitted as evidence.
Interpretations, judgments, and emotional reactions are for the Express step. If two people cannot agree on the basic facts, that itself is important information about how the interaction will go. Describe is not always necessary — straightforward requests in low-stakes situations can often skip directly to Assert.
Continue in practice
From single part to pattern
First return to the skill bundle and from there move to the next steps of the same structure.
Sources and references
Show where this node comes from and how source-near or practice-near it is.