Envy
For painful comparison, a sense of lack, or bitterness about what other people have.
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What this is about
Envy is often morally judged and therefore poorly observed, but clinically it can be highly informative. It frequently signals that another person represents something linked to your own values, deprivation, or unrealized wishes. In DBT the useful question is not simply how to get rid of envy, but how to translate comparison into orientation. Relevant skills are nonjudgmental awareness, check-the-facts against exaggeration, and building mastery or positive experiences in your own life.
The opposite action for unjustified envy is counting your own blessings — actively noticing and valuing what you already have — and resisting the urge to diminish what others possess. Envy becomes most harmful when it quietly turns into resentment or chronic self-devaluation.
How this emotion shows up
Body signals, typical action urge, and course as orientation for entering fitting skills.
- BodyA stab in the stomach, inner narrowing, tense attention toward others, restlessness, pressure in the face
- Action urgeCompare, devalue yourself, devalue others, push yourself harder, withdraw, or try to catch up at any cost
- Course and intensityEnvy can point toward values, wishes, or neglected areas of life. It becomes problematic when it silently turns into resentment or chronic self-devaluation.
Orient (4)
Helps frame the situation and gain an overview.
Check the Facts
If before opposing action or problem solving, it must first be checked whether the emotion and its intensity are appropriate to the facts.
Also in: Mindfulness
Mindfulness How-Skills
When it is not the next content but the inner execution attitude of mindfulness that needs to be clarified.
Also in: Distress Tolerance · Emotion Regulation · Interpersonal Effectiveness
Nonjudgmentally
When before further understanding or action, the evaluative narrowness must first be released so that reality can be seen more precisely again.
Also in: Distress Tolerance · Emotion Regulation · Interpersonal Effectiveness
Wise Mind
When, before the next step, an inner orientation is needed that takes both feelings and reason seriously.
Also in: Distress Tolerance · Emotion Regulation · Interpersonal Effectiveness
Apply (2)
Concrete exercises and skills for the situation.
Build Mastery
When stabilization requires not only reassurance, but also noticeable competence, success in action and inner uprightness.
Also in: Distress Tolerance
Accumulating Positive Emotions
When what is needed is not primarily acute crisis regulation, but rather the long-term development of positive counterweights, joy and closeness to life.
Also in: Distress Tolerance · Mindfulness
Stabilize (1)
Supports calming and regulation in the situation.
Prepare (1)
Prepares for future similar situations.