{ "kind": "node-detail-initial-slice", "version": "0.2.78", "generatedAt": "2026-10-02T19:25:44.323Z", "locale": "en", "route": "/en/practice/components/dear-man-express/", "nodeId": "dear-man-express", "nodeType": "component", "node": { "id": "dear-man-express", "type": "component", "title": "DEAR MAN: Express", "searchAliases": [ "DEAR MAN: Express", "DEAR MAN: Ausdrücken" ], "description": "Objectives effectiveness · DEAR MAN components · Objective assertion step", "priorityRank": 16, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "When your own feelings or effects need to be clearly expressed.", "purpose": "Make your own feelings, concerns or effects transparent so that the other person understands the subjective meaning of the situation.", "applicationContext": "When simply stating the facts is not enough and the personal impact or emotional relevance of the event must also be made visible.", "longDescription": { "text": "Express is the second step of DEAR MAN: sharing how you feel or what you believe about the situation — clearly, briefly, and without expecting the other person to already know. Expressing feelings or opinions makes the interaction more legible: it tells the other person what matters to you and why, which gives them something to respond to rather than requiring them to guess. It can feel vulnerable, but it also provides important information and can draw genuine interest to the situation. Express is distinct from Assert: expressing a feeling is not the same as making a request. Both steps are valuable, but they serve different functions — Express informs, Assert requests.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "chapter": 8, "section": "V.B.2", "page": 251 } ] }, "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "sourceLabel": "Linehan Manual", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 8, Section 5", "sourceCategory": "Foundation-oriented", "sourceType": "Manual", "sourceTrustSignal": "Primary source-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "high", "sourcePracticeWeight": "medium", "sourceAudienceFit": "Professional", "sourceNote": "Linehan Manual · Chapter 8, Section 5", "whenToUse": "If after the description it should also be clear how the situation feels or affects you.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "supplemental", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "clinical_consensus", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness", "emotion-regulation" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Making your own feelings transparent first requires noticing them - mindfulness of your own state is the prerequisite for authentic Express." }, { "moduleId": "emotion-regulation", "contextText": "Expressing feelings instead of bottling them up is itself emotion regulation - Express creates both release and connection." } ], "relatedIds": [ "assertiveness-scripts" ], "parentBundleId": "dear-man", "situations": [ "bitte-aeussern", "konflikt" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist" ], "learningPathType": "step-to-pattern", "learningPathTitle": "From single part to pattern", "learningPathDescription": "First return to the skill bundle and from there move to the next steps of the same structure.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "dear-man", "dear-man-assert" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "dear-man", "label": "Return to the overall structure", "description": "This makes the individual step readable again as part of the larger pattern.", "pathType": "step-to-pattern" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-assert", "label": "Connect the next skill-bundle step", "description": "This connection leads from the current element into the next functional step of the same structure.", "pathType": "step-to-pattern" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.9, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] }, "modules": [ { "id": "interpersonal", "title": "Interpersonal Effectiveness", "description": "Clarify relationships and reach goals.", "color": "bg-amber-500" }, { "id": "mindfulness", "title": "Mindfulness", "description": "The foundation of all DBT skills.", "color": "bg-indigo-500" }, { "id": "emotion-regulation", "title": "Emotion Regulation", "description": "Understand and change emotions.", "color": "bg-emerald-500" }, { "id": "distress-tolerance", "title": "Distress Tolerance", "description": "Handle crises without making everything worse.", "color": "bg-rose-500" } ], "relatedNodes": [ { "id": "assertiveness-scripts", "type": "skill", "title": "Assertiveness Scripts", "searchAliases": [ "Assertiveness Scripts", "Selbstsicherheitsskripte" ], "description": "Relationship negotiation · Conversation script · Structured assertion", "priorityRank": 17, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when express a request or need describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "When you need a concrete linguistic form for a difficult conversation.", "purpose": "Provide linguistic frameworks for difficult conversations so that clear self-advocacy does not fail due to word finding, uncertainty or stress.", "applicationContext": "When the content is clear in important conversations, but wording, sentence beginnings or a sustainable linguistic structure are missing.", "longDescription": { "text": "Assertiveness Scripts is the McKay Workbook's structured approach to interpersonal assertion: a two-component framework consisting of an I think statement (describing the facts of the situation without judgment or attack) and an I feel statement (expressing the emotion triggered by the situation using first-person language without blaming). Two additional optional components are an I want statement (a specific, direct request) and a statement about what will happen if nothing changes. Scripts provide structure for situations that are emotionally charged or where previous attempts at assertion have failed. They can be prepared in advance, practiced before use, and modified based on context. The approach parallels DEAR MAN in Linehan's manual but with a workbook-appropriate structure for self-study.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "workbook-mckay-357p", "chapter": 9 } ] }, "sourceId": "workbook-mckay-357p", "sourceLabel": "McKay Workbook", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 10", "sourceCategory": "Workbook-oriented", "sourceType": "Workbook", "sourceTrustSignal": "Practice-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "medium", "sourcePracticeWeight": "high", "sourceAudienceFit": "Learning-oriented", "sourceNote": "McKay Workbook · Chapter 10", "whenToUse": "When, before a conversation, not just the attitude but a concrete linguistic form is needed for a request, limit or feedback.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "extended", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "practice_derived", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Using prepared wording means not living in your head in the decisive moment, but speaking from presence - mindfulness brings the script to life." } ], "relatedIds": [ "fast", "raven-negotiation", "assertive-listening", "give" ], "situations": [ "bitte-aeussern", "grenzen-setzen" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist" ], "comparisonTitle": "Assertiveness Scripts vs. DEAR MAN", "comparisonBullets": [ "provides concrete wording for requests, boundaries, or feedback", "fits when finding words is difficult, stress is high, or starting the conversation feels daunting", "asks first: How do I say this specifically?" ], "comparisonAxes": [ { "label": "Primary question", "current": "What wording will support this conversation?", "candidates": { "dear-man": "How do I build my request into a sequence for achieving my objective?" } }, { "label": "Direction", "current": "Make finding words and preparing the conversation concrete.", "candidates": { "dear-man": "Fully structure a goal, request, boundary, or negotiation." } }, { "label": "Typical context", "current": "Difficulty finding words, uncertainty, high stress, or a need for sentence starters.", "candidates": { "dear-man": "A request, boundary, demand, negotiation, or clear statement of a goal." } } ], "comparisonNodeIds": [ "dear-man" ], "comparisonDescription": "Helps distinguish whether what is needed first is the full goal-effectiveness logic of DEAR MAN or a concrete verbal form for a difficult conversation.", "comparisonFocus": "Start here when the attitude or goal is already roughly clear, but sentence starters, wording, or a conversation outline are missing.", "learningPathType": "knowledge-to-application", "learningPathTitle": "Explore and apply", "learningPathDescription": "These nodes are the next meaningful continuation when you want to move on from the current concept.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist", "fast" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "communication-effectiveness-checklist", "label": "Continue with a tool", "description": "This connection translates the current knowledge into a directly usable tool or protocol.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "fast", "label": "Open the structure behind it", "description": "This connection opens the higher-level structure in which the current node is embedded.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "prepare", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.88, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "grenzen-setzen", "label": "Set boundaries", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] } ], "practiceNodes": [ { "id": "communication-effectiveness-checklist", "type": "tool", "title": "Communication Effectiveness Checklist", "searchAliases": [ "Communication Effectiveness Checklist", "Checkliste kommunikative Wirksamkeit" ], "description": "Relationship negotiation · Transfer training · Behavior analysis orientation", "priorityRank": 16, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "If you need to look back and see where a conversation was effective or unclear.", "purpose": "Check a conversation or communication behavior according to central effectiveness criteria so that experience becomes concrete learning steps.", "applicationContext": "When after an important conversation you need not just a feeling, but a structured review of clarity, contact and goal pursuit.", "longDescription": { "text": "The Communication Effectiveness Checklist is a structured self-assessment tool from the interpersonal effectiveness module that helps evaluate whether a specific communication attempt achieved its goals. It prompts review of each DEAR MAN skill (Was the situation described accurately? Were feelings expressed clearly? Was the assertion direct?), each GIVE skill (Was the tone gentle? Was genuine interest shown? Was validation offered?), and each FAST skill (Was fairness maintained? Were unnecessary apologies avoided? Were values upheld? Was honesty maintained?). The checklist is particularly useful after interpersonal interactions that did not go as intended, as a structured way to identify which skills were missing or could be refined.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "workbook-mckay-357p", "chapter": 9 } ] }, "sourceId": "workbook-mckay-357p", "sourceLabel": "McKay Workbook", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 10", "sourceCategory": "Workbook-oriented", "sourceType": "Workbook", "sourceTrustSignal": "Practice-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "medium", "sourcePracticeWeight": "high", "sourceAudienceFit": "Learning-oriented", "sourceNote": "McKay Workbook · Chapter 10", "whenToUse": "If communication is to be improved by making it clear which elements were effective and where the conversation lost its effectiveness.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "extended", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "practice_derived", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "emotion-regulation", "mindfulness" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "emotion-regulation", "contextText": "How one comes across in a conversation depends heavily on emotional state - the checklist makes visible where emotionality limited communication effectiveness." }, { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Reviewing a conversation requires mindful remembering without self-criticism - the checklist is a mindfulness tool for communication." } ], "relatedIds": [ "assertiveness-scripts", "assertive-listening", "validation", "raven-negotiation", "dear-man", "give", "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate" ], "situations": [ "konflikt", "bitte-aeussern" ], "learningPathType": "knowledge-to-application", "learningPathTitle": "Explore and apply", "learningPathDescription": "These nodes lead from a tool or procedure into the next meaningful continuation.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "assertive-listening", "raven-negotiation", "assertiveness-scripts", "dear-man", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-negotiate", "dear-man-reinforce", "give", "validation" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "assertive-listening", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "raven-negotiation", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "assertiveness-scripts", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man", "label": "Open the structure behind it", "description": "This connection opens the higher-level structure in which the current node is embedded.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-appear-confident", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-assert", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-describe", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-express", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-mindful", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-negotiate", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-reinforce", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "give", "label": "Open the structure behind it", "description": "This connection opens the higher-level structure in which the current node is embedded.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "validation", "label": "Move directly into application", "description": "This connection leads from conceptual knowledge into a more concrete practical application.", "pathType": "knowledge-to-application" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "orient", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0.78, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] } ], "comparisonNodes": [], "learningPathNodes": [ { "id": "dear-man", "type": "bundle", "title": "DEAR MAN", "searchAliases": [ "DEAR MAN", "DEAR MAN" ], "description": "Objectives effectiveness · Goal effectiveness · Goal assertion", "priorityRank": 16, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "When you need to clearly address, request, refuse, or negotiate something.", "purpose": "Structuring interactions so that a specific goal can be effectively pursued, a request can be made, a boundary can be set, or a position can be clearly represented.", "applicationContext": "When something needs to be achieved, negotiated, rejected or directly advocated for in an interaction and goal effectiveness is easily lost under social pressure.", "longDescription": { "text": "DEAR MAN is the DBT mnemonic for the set of skills used when the goal is to achieve an objective in an interpersonal situation — asking for something, saying no, or asserting a point of view. Each letter stands for a step: Describe the situation using observable facts only; Express feelings or beliefs clearly without expecting mind-reading; Assert wishes directly, neither beating around the bush nor demanding; Reinforce by explaining what the other person gains from giving you what you want; stay Mindful of the objective, not getting pulled off track by attacks or distractions; Appear confident in manner even when feeling uncertain; and Negotiate by being willing to give something to get something. DEAR MAN is objectives effectiveness — it serves the goal of getting what you actually want. It works best when combined with GIVE skills for maintaining the relationship, and FAST skills for maintaining self-respect.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "chapter": 8, "section": "V", "page": 249 } ] }, "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "sourceLabel": "Linehan Manual", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 8, Section 5", "sourceCategory": "Foundation-oriented", "sourceType": "Manual", "sourceTrustSignal": "Primary source-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "high", "sourcePracticeWeight": "medium", "sourceAudienceFit": "Professional", "sourceNote": "Linehan Manual · Chapter 8, Section 5", "whenToUse": "When primary reassurance, relationship protection or self-respect are not the priority, but rather the specific goal of the interaction must be pursued clearly and effectively.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "core", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "clinical_consensus", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness", "emotion-regulation" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Under social pressure, staying focused on the core of your own request requires mindfulness-based concentration skills." }, { "moduleId": "emotion-regulation", "contextText": "Emotional charge in conversations sabotages DEAR MAN - people who are emotionally regulated before the conversation can use the strategy effectively at all." } ], "relatedIds": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate", "assertiveness-scripts", "raven-negotiation", "chain-analysis", "mutual-validation", "ending-relationships", "contingency-management", "assertive-listening" ], "components": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate" ], "situations": [ "konflikt", "bitte-aeussern", "grenzen-setzen", "beziehung-beenden" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist" ], "comparisonTitle": "DEAR MAN vs. GIVE vs. FAST", "comparisonBullets": [ "prioritizes goal clarity and effectiveness in the conversation", "fits requests, demands, boundaries, and negotiations", "asks first: How do I get my request clearly onto the table?" ], "comparisonAxes": [ { "label": "Primary question", "current": "How do I put my request on the table effectively?", "candidates": { "fast": "How do I stay intact and self-respecting?", "give": "How do I keep contact warm and relationship-supportive?" } }, { "label": "Direction", "current": "Represent a goal, request, negotiation, or boundary effectively.", "candidates": { "fast": "Do not give up self-respect, values, and fairness.", "give": "Protect the relationship and keep validation and warmth high." } }, { "label": "Typical context", "current": "Requests, demands, conflict conversations, negotiations.", "candidates": { "fast": "Guilt, withdrawal, pressure toward self-betrayal.", "give": "Sensitive conversations, repair, relationship care." } } ], "comparisonNodeIds": [ "fast", "give" ], "comparisonDescription": "Helps distinguish whether goal effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, or self-respect currently has priority.", "comparisonFocus": "Start here when you want to achieve, request, or clearly represent something.", "learningPathType": "bundle-to-steps", "learningPathTitle": "From skill bundle to steps", "learningPathDescription": "Start with the central building blocks of this skill bundle before jumping to broader connection nodes.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "dear-man-describe", "label": "Open as the first step", "description": "This element is the most direct entry point into the internal structure of the skill bundle.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-express", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-assert", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-reinforce", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-mindful", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-appear-confident", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-negotiate", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "entry", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.95, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "entry", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.9, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "beziehung-beenden", "label": "End a relationship or decide to leave", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.86, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "grenzen-setzen", "label": "Set boundaries", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] }, { "id": "dear-man-assert", "type": "component", "title": "DEAR MAN: Assert", "searchAliases": [ "DEAR MAN: Assert", "DEAR MAN: Durchsetzen" ], "description": "Objectives effectiveness · DEAR MAN components · Objective assertion step", "priorityRank": 16, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "When a request, boundary or position needs to be presented clearly and directly.", "purpose": "Express the actual request, limit or position directly so that the conversation has a clear direction and not just a circle.", "applicationContext": "When you have already understood and stated what it is about, but what you specifically want, need or reject is still missing.", "longDescription": { "text": "Assert is the third and central step of DEAR MAN: asking clearly for what you want, or saying no clearly when you need to. The skill requires directness — not hinting, not suggesting, not waiting for the other person to figure it out. Asserting is not demanding or insisting; it is making your wish explicit and giving the other person the information they need to respond. Expressing a feeling is not asserting: saying I am frustrated is not the same as asking for a specific change. Many people feel uncomfortable with direct requests, confusing assertiveness with aggression or entitlement. In DBT, Assert is understood as a basic interpersonal right: being clear about what you want is not imposing, it is informing.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "chapter": 8, "section": "V.B.3", "page": 251 } ] }, "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "sourceLabel": "Linehan Manual", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 8, Section 5", "sourceCategory": "Foundation-oriented", "sourceType": "Manual", "sourceTrustSignal": "Primary source-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "high", "sourcePracticeWeight": "medium", "sourceAudienceFit": "Professional", "sourceNote": "Linehan Manual · Chapter 8, Section 5", "whenToUse": "If a conversation otherwise remains non-binding and the core message must be clearly stated.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "supplemental", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "clinical_consensus", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Naming your position clearly, even when there is pressure to deviate, requires a focused and effectiveness-oriented mindful stance." } ], "relatedIds": [ "assertiveness-scripts" ], "parentBundleId": "dear-man", "situations": [ "bitte-aeussern", "grenzen-setzen", "konflikt" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist" ], "learningPathType": "step-to-pattern", "learningPathTitle": "From single part to pattern", "learningPathDescription": "First return to the skill bundle and from there move to the next steps of the same structure.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "dear-man", "dear-man-reinforce" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "dear-man", "label": "Return to the overall structure", "description": "This makes the individual step readable again as part of the larger pattern.", "pathType": "step-to-pattern" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-reinforce", "label": "Connect the next skill-bundle step", "description": "This connection leads from the current element into the next functional step of the same structure.", "pathType": "step-to-pattern" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.94, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "grenzen-setzen", "label": "Set boundaries", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] } ], "bundleComponentNodes": [], "contextNodes": [ { "id": "emotion-regulation", "type": "framework", "title": "Emotion Regulation (Framework)", "searchAliases": [ "Emotionsregulation", "Emotionsregulation" ], "description": "Theoretical foundation · Regulation capacity · Emotion regulation capacity", "priorityRank": 23, "priorityLabel": "More foundational", "priorityDescription": "This node is more about preparation, stabilization, or later deepening around orientation and understanding.", "cardPreview": "If you first have to understand how emotions change and where you can intervene.", "purpose": "Organize the regulatory space of emotions so that it becomes understandable how emotions arise, are maintained and can be influenced at different points.", "applicationContext": "When emotional reactions seem too violent, too long-lasting or difficult to control and a structuring classification is needed first.", "longDescription": { "text": "Emotion Regulation in DBT is not about eliminating emotions but about increasing the ability to influence them — to reduce their frequency when unwanted, decrease their intensity, shorten their duration, and reduce suffering caused by their secondary effects. The module begins with understanding: emotions have functions (motivating action, communicating to self and others) and are complex full-system responses involving biology, cognition, behavior, and expression. Changing any part of the system can change the whole. The practical skills fall into two broad categories: changing unwanted emotions through Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving; and building resilience through the ABC PLEASE skills that reduce biological vulnerability and increase positive experience over time.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "chapter": 9, "section": "I", "page": 323 } ] }, "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "sourceLabel": "Linehan Manual", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 1", "sourceCategory": "Foundation-oriented", "sourceType": "Manual", "sourceTrustSignal": "Primary source-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "high", "sourcePracticeWeight": "medium", "sourceAudienceFit": "Professional", "sourceNote": "Linehan Manual · Chapter 1", "whenToUse": "If it is still unclear whether fact checking, opposing action, problem solving or vulnerability reduction is the appropriate next step.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "core", "interventionMode": "cognitive", "evidenceLevel": "clinical_consensus", "foundationalCategory": "understanding", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness", "distress-tolerance", "interpersonal" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Emotional dysregulation often begins with a lack of awareness - mindfulness is the prerequisite for recognizing and naming emotional patterns at all." }, { "moduleId": "distress-tolerance", "contextText": "When emotion regulation does not work or works too slowly, crisis skills take over - distress tolerance is the emergency backup for moments when regulation is not yet accessible." }, { "moduleId": "interpersonal", "contextText": "Unregulated emotions are the most common reason interpersonal attempts fail - emotion regulation is the quiet prerequisite for effective communication." } ], "relatedIds": [], "situations": [ "orientierung-verstehen" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "weekly-regulator" ], "comparisonTitle": "Understanding DBT foundations", "comparisonBullets": [], "comparisonAxes": [], "comparisonNodeIds": [ "biosoziale-theorie", "emotionsdysregulation" ], "comparisonDescription": "Emotion regulation describes the ability to influence emotions. Emotion dysregulation describes difficulties with this. Biosocial theory explains how emotional vulnerability and an invalidating environment interact in the development of these difficulties.", "learningPathType": "framework-to-application", "learningPathTitle": "Explore and apply", "learningPathDescription": "These nodes lead from the conceptual frame of reference into the first concrete application or deepening.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "weekly-regulator", "biosoziale-theorie", "emotionsdysregulation" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "weekly-regulator", "label": "Switch into a sequence", "description": "This connection leads into a clearer step sequence when the next move should become graspable as a process.", "pathType": "framework-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "biosoziale-theorie", "label": "Deepen the frame of reference", "description": "This connection expands the conceptual frame so the current topic does not remain isolated.", "pathType": "framework-to-application" }, { "nodeId": "emotionsdysregulation", "label": "Deepen the frame of reference", "description": "This connection expands the conceptual frame so the current topic does not remain isolated.", "pathType": "framework-to-application" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "orientierung-verstehen", "label": "Orientation and Understanding", "entryType": "orientation", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "understand", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.9, "isPreferred": true } ] }, { "id": "dear-man", "type": "bundle", "title": "DEAR MAN", "searchAliases": [ "DEAR MAN", "DEAR MAN" ], "description": "Objectives effectiveness · Goal effectiveness · Goal assertion", "priorityRank": 16, "priorityLabel": "Situationally important", "priorityDescription": "This node becomes especially important when conflict with others describes the actual situation.", "cardPreview": "When you need to clearly address, request, refuse, or negotiate something.", "purpose": "Structuring interactions so that a specific goal can be effectively pursued, a request can be made, a boundary can be set, or a position can be clearly represented.", "applicationContext": "When something needs to be achieved, negotiated, rejected or directly advocated for in an interaction and goal effectiveness is easily lost under social pressure.", "longDescription": { "text": "DEAR MAN is the DBT mnemonic for the set of skills used when the goal is to achieve an objective in an interpersonal situation — asking for something, saying no, or asserting a point of view. Each letter stands for a step: Describe the situation using observable facts only; Express feelings or beliefs clearly without expecting mind-reading; Assert wishes directly, neither beating around the bush nor demanding; Reinforce by explaining what the other person gains from giving you what you want; stay Mindful of the objective, not getting pulled off track by attacks or distractions; Appear confident in manner even when feeling uncertain; and Negotiate by being willing to give something to get something. DEAR MAN is objectives effectiveness — it serves the goal of getting what you actually want. It works best when combined with GIVE skills for maintaining the relationship, and FAST skills for maintaining self-respect.", "furtherReading": [ { "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "chapter": 8, "section": "V", "page": 249 } ] }, "sourceId": "linehan-manual-529p", "sourceLabel": "Linehan Manual", "sourceLocator": "Chapter 8, Section 5", "sourceCategory": "Foundation-oriented", "sourceType": "Manual", "sourceTrustSignal": "Primary source-close", "sourceAuthorityWeight": "high", "sourcePracticeWeight": "medium", "sourceAudienceFit": "Professional", "sourceNote": "Linehan Manual · Chapter 8, Section 5", "whenToUse": "When primary reassurance, relationship protection or self-respect are not the priority, but rather the specific goal of the interaction must be pursued clearly and effectively.", "whenToUseSource": "editorial", "situationsSource": "explicit", "skillComplexity": "core", "interventionMode": "relational", "evidenceLevel": "clinical_consensus", "module": "interpersonal", "secondaryModules": [ "mindfulness", "emotion-regulation" ], "moduleBridgeContexts": [ { "moduleId": "mindfulness", "contextText": "Under social pressure, staying focused on the core of your own request requires mindfulness-based concentration skills." }, { "moduleId": "emotion-regulation", "contextText": "Emotional charge in conversations sabotages DEAR MAN - people who are emotionally regulated before the conversation can use the strategy effectively at all." } ], "relatedIds": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate", "assertiveness-scripts", "raven-negotiation", "chain-analysis", "mutual-validation", "ending-relationships", "contingency-management", "assertive-listening" ], "components": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate" ], "situations": [ "konflikt", "bitte-aeussern", "grenzen-setzen", "beziehung-beenden" ], "practiceNodeIds": [ "communication-effectiveness-checklist" ], "comparisonTitle": "DEAR MAN vs. GIVE vs. FAST", "comparisonBullets": [ "prioritizes goal clarity and effectiveness in the conversation", "fits requests, demands, boundaries, and negotiations", "asks first: How do I get my request clearly onto the table?" ], "comparisonAxes": [ { "label": "Primary question", "current": "How do I put my request on the table effectively?", "candidates": { "fast": "How do I stay intact and self-respecting?", "give": "How do I keep contact warm and relationship-supportive?" } }, { "label": "Direction", "current": "Represent a goal, request, negotiation, or boundary effectively.", "candidates": { "fast": "Do not give up self-respect, values, and fairness.", "give": "Protect the relationship and keep validation and warmth high." } }, { "label": "Typical context", "current": "Requests, demands, conflict conversations, negotiations.", "candidates": { "fast": "Guilt, withdrawal, pressure toward self-betrayal.", "give": "Sensitive conversations, repair, relationship care." } } ], "comparisonNodeIds": [ "fast", "give" ], "comparisonDescription": "Helps distinguish whether goal effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, or self-respect currently has priority.", "comparisonFocus": "Start here when you want to achieve, request, or clearly represent something.", "learningPathType": "bundle-to-steps", "learningPathTitle": "From skill bundle to steps", "learningPathDescription": "Start with the central building blocks of this skill bundle before jumping to broader connection nodes.", "learningPathNodeIds": [ "dear-man-describe", "dear-man-express", "dear-man-assert", "dear-man-reinforce", "dear-man-mindful", "dear-man-appear-confident", "dear-man-negotiate" ], "learningPathSteps": [ { "nodeId": "dear-man-describe", "label": "Open as the first step", "description": "This element is the most direct entry point into the internal structure of the skill bundle.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-express", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-assert", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-reinforce", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-mindful", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-appear-confident", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" }, { "nodeId": "dear-man-negotiate", "label": "Continue within the skill bundle", "description": "This turns the acronym or container into a concrete sequence of action steps.", "pathType": "bundle-to-steps" } ], "situationLinks": [ { "situationId": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "entry", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.95, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "entry", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.9, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "beziehung-beenden", "label": "End a relationship or decide to leave", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "primary", "strength": 0.86, "isPreferred": true }, { "situationId": "grenzen-setzen", "label": "Set boundaries", "entryType": "interpersonal", "pathSegment": "situations", "relationRole": "apply", "fit": "secondary", "strength": 0, "isPreferred": true } ] } ], "situations": [ { "id": "bitte-aeussern", "label": "Express a Request or Need", "shortLabel": "Request", "entryType": "interpersonal", "isDraft": false, "description": "For situations in which a wish, need or goal must be clearly represented.", "bodySensation": "Nervousness or tension before speaking, stomach tightens, voice becomes smaller, desire to withdraw", "impulse": "Downplaying or apologizing for the request, not even asking, sending indirect signals instead of clear statements, ignoring your own needs", "intensityNotes": "Making requests is particularly difficult if you have little self-respect or fear of rejection. DEARMAN skills help to provide structure. Effectiveness increases with practice.", "longDescription": { "text": "Making requests is one of the most fundamental yet frequently avoided interpersonal behaviors for people with emotion dysregulation, often because requests feel equivalent to demands and trigger shame or anticipatory rejection. DBT frames making a request as a skill separable from outcome — the goal of DEAR MAN is to ask skillfully, not to guarantee a yes. Relevant skill categories are interpersonal effectiveness (DEAR MAN), emotion regulation for shame and anticipatory anxiety, and mindfulness for staying present during the conversation. The most common mistake is conflating the effectiveness of the skill with the outcome, which leads to abandoning requests entirely after a rejection. A second frequent error is undermining the request so heavily that it becomes unclear." }, "preferredNodeIds": [], "conceptLinks": [ { "conceptId": "dear-man", "relationRole": "entry" }, { "conceptId": "assertiveness-scripts", "relationRole": "prepare" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-describe", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-express", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-assert", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-reinforce", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "question-is-this-assertiveness-scripts-or-dear-man", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "question-how-intensely-should-i-ask-or-say-no", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "communication-effectiveness-checklist", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-appear-confident", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-mindful", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-negotiate", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "interpersonal-values-and-ratios", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "raven-negotiation", "relationRole": "apply" } ], "bundleLinks": [ { "bundleId": "dear-man", "role": "entry" } ], "pathSegment": "situations" }, { "id": "konflikt", "label": "Conflict with Others", "shortLabel": "Conflict", "entryType": "interpersonal", "isDraft": false, "description": "For arguments, tension, escalation or communicative friction in relationships.", "bodySensation": "Tension in chest and shoulders, increased heart rate, tense jaw, cramped stomach, warmth in face, urge to move", "impulse": "Attacking and wanting to be right, remaining silent and withdrawing, saving the relationship by giving in, wanting to convince the other person", "intensityNotes": "Escalation in conflicts often follows escalation levels. Early exit from loops is more effective than de-escalation at the top. Skills work better in medium arousal than in full arousal.", "longDescription": { "text": "Interpersonal conflicts are characterized by competing goals or needs where at least one party perceives their interests as being disregarded. DBT treats conflicts not as problems to be avoided but as situations requiring navigation with both goal clarity and relationship care. The relevant skill categories are interpersonal effectiveness (DEAR MAN for goal pursuit, GIVE for relationship preservation, FAST for self-respect), emotion regulation to reduce activation before engaging, and mindfulness. The key clinical distinction is whether the primary goal is the outcome (what I want), the relationship (how I want to feel about this person afterward), or self-respect (how I want to feel about myself). Premature problem-solving without first managing emotional arousal is the most common failure mode." }, "preferredNodeIds": [], "conceptLinks": [ { "conceptId": "dear-man", "relationRole": "entry" }, { "conceptId": "give", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "assertive-listening", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "raven-negotiation", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-mindful", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-negotiate", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "give-gentle", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "interpersonal-values-and-ratios", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "communication-effectiveness-checklist", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "question-what-belongs-to-this-bundle", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "question-is-this-validation-or-mutual-validation", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "question-is-this-assertiveness-scripts-or-dear-man", "relationRole": "orient" }, { "conceptId": "exercise-middle-path-calendar", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-appear-confident", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-assert", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-describe", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-express", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "dear-man-reinforce", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "give-easy-manner", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "give-interested", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "give-validate", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "mindfulness-of-others", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "mutual-validation", "relationRole": "apply" }, { "conceptId": "validation", "relationRole": "apply" } ], "bundleLinks": [ { "bundleId": "dear-man", "role": "entry" }, { "bundleId": "give", "role": "apply" } ], "pathSegment": "situations" } ] }